That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize