White coat. Heels.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
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It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
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she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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