im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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