Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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