Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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