if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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