We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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