i can't believe i had my finger in that
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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