I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
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I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
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You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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