I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize