Have you finally orgasmed yet?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I wish you could order shots online.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize