I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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