im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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