oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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