the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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