hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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