Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
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Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
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I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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