Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
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You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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