Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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