shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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