Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize