is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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