Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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