Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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