so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize