i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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