Sponge bath it is.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize