i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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