what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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