due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
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I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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