Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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