2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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