p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize