Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize