i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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