can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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