puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
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the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
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So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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