i permit you to call me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
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I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
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I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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