sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize