I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize