So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
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sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
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So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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