Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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