My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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