Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
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I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
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just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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