Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
