i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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