i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize