i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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