Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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