When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
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mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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