Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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