I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
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Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
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We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize